Did you hear? Jasmeer has been sad,
you guys will die first in recession.
Your parents are from bhatinda,
you live in south hall.
And i am brown,
finally! Somebody remember my birthday,
i have been told just today to decrease a man from my team,
you made my job easy, give me your badge,
that's mall's property. Get off right now,
no! This surprise is not for him,
i have been planning your party since 2 days,
and everything is wasted on him, it's okay,
i have got if for you,
you have got something,
when nick came to college jerry was in senior level.
And when nick passed his graduation
then jerry was still getting rot in senior year,
since that day they both lives together and share everything,
except responsibility, bills and rent,
and me, thank god for that.
But i tolerate jerry because...
if he won't be there 3 years back.
Then nick might had a problem to meet me,
i have already seen her, she is waiting for someone,
forget it, how?
Give me your 200 pounds. Why you're wasting your money?
And by the way she is with someone, she is with a white boy.
That will work only few months,
when her parents will know then they will get her marry with some old man,
who have much money and less hair,
if i won't go to her then how she will find out,
that what god has sent for her,
nick! You are right,
how would she know that what god has sent for her,
what are you thinking?
That girl's future is in your hand, go get her!
And listen! Don't return empty hands,
if you will spend your all day with your brother,
then how would other guys will get a chance,
that's what i have come to change, just tell me,
you're gonna marry him? Please leave us alone,
if you're not gonna marry him,
i am 6 feet and you looks 5.8...
after the marriage we will have a nice house,
2 cars, 2 kids...
and one dog...
the perfect life.
With how many girls you have tried this stunt?
Honestly! I am such a boring person,
nobody has inspired this madness...
you are the first one,
talk to her with respect,
she is my sister in law.
One day it will be a solid flashback,
that was first and last time,
when jerry did something good for me, don't waster beer.
Nick! Where we are going?
I am pissed off to tolerate your attitude...
you are always asking me to do something,
i have been told that's very rare and unique,
but less than you,
i have never seen a stubborn...
taller...
and a beautiful girl... there is...
i will introduce with you tomorrow, what are you doing?
You will marry with anyone,
you want to spend your entire life with jerry,
or with me,
will you marry me? No, no, no,
not jignesh it's jerry...
15 years back when i step in the plane my name was changed,
but you never changed...
i am jerry, jignesh is dead,
yes! I have got my car,
your son is having fresh air and going to office,
i don't care what's your problem but sort it out,
problem is yours...
when she looks at you then she saw a house,
she saw a membership card of country club,
she saw a chauffer driven car,
she saw her kid's private education,
she thinks you are a lic agent,
i saw our house in that house,
notjust her kids but i see our kid's future...
it's our both's dream,
an atm card whose balance never over,
atm reminds me...
debit card is empty please fill it.
For the reason of current economy this company can't affords your anymore,
but i just got my bonus yesterday,
and that's why company also fired him,
who are you? Your new boss...
are you alright?
Do you know something about retirement's return policy.
You will get one week holiday per year,
if you will come late then your salary will be deducted,
and you will have to laugh on every joke of boss.
And you know something about power point and excel.
Ma'am! I think you didn't read my resume properly,
i didn't came her for typistjob,
time is very bad, you won't get it tomorrow,
i am over qualified for this job,
who is behind you?
I don't need a single holiday in a year,
i don't need bonus,
i will laugh on every joke of boss even i will make him laugh,
this guy will teach me power point and excel.
And you teach me other normal things,
so! I assume this job is confirmed,
you are under qualified for this job,
what's your problem? I agree that i'm over qualified for this job,
but my friend is perfect for this job,
ma'am! What are your qualifications?
Forget your qualifications at least tell me your measurments,
they are such popular holiday destinations...
nick! We should book them early otherwise we won't get tickets.
How do i tell her that norway is so far...
i don't have money to go in subway,
you just give me the sign,
i will snatch the ring from her hands,
this gown is perfect.
It's a valentino, my favourite designer,
promise me that she won't be harm when you will snatch the ring,
i can try.
I can't promise.
I will try something,
we are doing the same what others do,
a fake over the top wedding and a fairy tale honeymoon,
these things makes people's ecpectations so worse...
that's why marriages get break.
And here nick shot a sixer,
don't come out from the crease and bat,
otherwise you will be out,
reception in some 5 star hotel.
And we will smile for hours sitting on some stupids thrones,
your dad will cry and run behind the car,
and he will say my daughter...
let's elope and get married,
only you and me alone,
and when we return i will re-decorate the entire house,
that poor doesn't know that our house is gonna be re-decorate,
you forgot to pay my fees again,
if i would pay the fees so how would i meet you,
did you get your breakfast.
Now get scold from grandma.
I can tolerate fatty's anger but not yours.
Your vaccations are getting started.
I want you to tell me your plans,
till i will get fatty's kiss...
fatty's kiss? You better take my kiss,
from today i will handle veer's case. Veer is not a case.
I have come from the government,
at least let me sign, no need of that,
i just wanted to recognize you,
from today your name is rocco,
you have all those qualifications,
what a male squad should have,
sir! What will i have to do? You will distribute happiness,
snata clauss is on vaccations,
to lonely, sad and bored women,
to let them forget their life problems,
you will make them happy,
orjealous their boyfriends,
or i will have to take girls in cinema, right!
You will get the time and address in it,
get habbitted of new name,
from jignesh to jerry,
and from jerry to rocco,
your name's standard is lying down,
your priniciples...
we can't get the money from your principles.
How could you make fun of it?
How did you fill that form?
Nothing! Only upper body measurments,
and i have to give my shoe size,
if you gave your shoe size,
then it's gonna be girl's cue.
Jignesh! Get up!
Your shoe got a message,
she will tell you the way of happiness,
and you will decide the limits of happiness,
limits will be less,
you will get the much money,
my name is rocco! And i have come to share happiness,
i have heard that male squads are naughty,
not shy...
i am gonna get married next month,
what's the first item in fun menu,
ma'am! You don't have any shortage of fun in your life,
we can go for shopping, dinner,
i am not gonna pay you 400 pounds to show me a movie,
to celebrate the freedom,
we all have it,
your husband's phone call...
if i am single, divorcee or a mother of six kids,
that's not your problem,
sorry! But i can't do it,
i will complain in your agency,
you won't leave me like my parents,
no! I will never go,
how could i go?
Now close your eyes,
so listen to me carefully,
a girl's wedding is the most important day of her life,
but the most important is...
her freedom's last night,
and you won't let this night over,
this is your last chance rocco.
I know you won't listen to me,
but i am still asking you to stay,
i know you won't listen to me,
but i am still asking you to join me,
what do you think?
I don't love veer,
i know we are sitting in this house from 3 months,
and you will get lot of money with that,
but you are not that person jerry.
Which person you are talking about?
That person who sits on the subway bench a play sad songs on guitar,
because his 7 years old kid is raising at some stranger's house.
You are right i am not that person,
i will do that typistjob,
you talk to that mall's manager.
You might get thatjob, how long we'll lie to our selves,
today we don't have money to pay this appartment's rent,
since college i have been failed in everything
where you didn't supported me,
but i am not gonna fail today.
If you are not coming with me then no problem,
at least don't stop me to try.
I am inspector rocco,
and as per my investigation such a big crime is gonna happen here,
a hot, single and naive girl...
is about to get married,
i am natasha mehra.
And i am that hot, single and naive girl
whose gonna get married,
by the way what will be my punishment,
tonight you will have to spend in my jail.
You will punish all the girls.
Alone?
You will be tired.
We will be there. Who we?
You and me,
do you have any idea that hunter and rocco's stock price are increased.
I can't handle this double life. I can't lie to radhika anymore.
And i have lined up few decent interviews.
5000 pounds, and tomorrow 10,000.
What we are losing to earn the money.
What else we have except these biceps,
i don't know about you but i have lot of things,
i paid veer's fees, i saved our house and saved some money for radhika,
we will find a nice guy and get her married,
and i will dance on her bachelor party,
listen to me,
hunter is already retired,
what are you doing?
I know you didn't do this job for your self but for me,
i will take our veer from bording school
and i want to keep him along with me,
i know you will get any nice job,
and what about me, i will do any kind ofjob,
but our life will be normal.
This is the start-up cost of normal, simple life.
Last time,
we are so compatible,
why don't you leave radhika and marry me,
listen to me,
i was unemployed from 3 months, i didn't have money,
i was about to lose my house,
i thought if i will tell you that i will lose you as well.
You have already lost me,
i didn't want to lie to you,
but how could i told you this truth. You didn't like to tell me anything,
with who i spent my 3 years,
i was about to spend my life with a stranger,
at least you saved to make that mistake,
radhika! Please don't do it.
I can't run in morning,
you are tired,
in our generation girls were so stubborn,
but we knew how to appease them,
what do you think that romeo cried like you,
they didn't become male squads,
and there is no worth radhika don't love me... she loves you,
i know her very well.
After all i raised her,
my good wished to win my daughter's heart,
and that's for breaking her heart,
after spending one night outside the house you can't get lifetime love,
a person get love...
who is ready to wait outside the house forever,
so, you are thinking the same what i am thinking,
if you are thinking the same then you are so intelligent,
12 years ago i made a big mistake,
i left the college,
i thought i should reform my first mistake,
others will be fine,
3 names, not a single job,
qualifications are so less.
Age... is much enough,
your son jerry's room mate,
you didn't tell me that your dad is here,
no, he is not my dad but he is jerry's dad,
by the way uncle where is jerry.
I am jerry.
Why are you shouting? I am here,
dad! You call the police.
He is trespassing our property,
it's our parking spot,
are you saying or shall i say,
i sold this parking spot to him,
dad really needed the money,
he is not like you,
once he gave commitment so he don't listen to himself,
you are helping him,
people can make mistakes in recession,
difference is that i just sold this parking spot and he removes the clothes
i think i will have to sleep with you here tonight,
jerry is dead, it's jignesh,
your son jignesh, you woke up early today,
i don't have car, i don't understand anything,
where are you? Mom! I am in college,
so, you have become a teacher,
what are you teaching?
I am not teaching but i am learning,
but what are you learning? I am learning to tell truth.
Are you alright? I love you...
if somebody would have done it in your generation,
so he would be outside the class.
In your generation people also have to go outside the class.
Not you... but you!
I ain't do nothing, i know what you have done.
Can i know why did you take me out from the class room,
because you didn't call me back,
when did you ask me for phone call?
12 years ago,
when you took proxy from me,
you copied my notes and in exams,
you sat behind me and copy my paper,
besides that i was failed, because you couldn't copy properly.
You didn't changed,
rather you opened the website and become a billionaire.
Or when you felt bore so you came back to college.
I didn't become billionaire.
But you know what's the common thing in ambani and jerry patel.
Those 3 are college drop outs,
the difference is that they are special and i am...
specially challenged,
basically life appreciate them and take them to sky and
life slapped me and take me back for graduation.
So! First tip to complete the graduation.
Your next class has started 5 minutes ago.
No! You are dancing in celebration of my failure,
rocco used to dance very well.
He died 3 months back.
I just wanted to meet him,
your men's taste is strange,
i know...
now i understand you wanted me to notice you but...
i was busy with cheerleaders and now you are taking revenge to fail me,
that time i was fat and poor,
but now i am sexy and powerful,
why do i feel that if i will stay here for a while,
then my respect could have danger,
everyone needs love but not everyone get it,
but those who got love they must have done some hard work,
do you remember something,
i can touch your bracelet.
You can only feel it.
It means nobody has called me back.
And you are already out of my lead,
i thought you won't remember my name,
he won't come here, who?
Your ex-boyrfriend,
you don't worry about that idiot,
you are my future.
I can't stop myself.
I want to fly like a free bird,
i want to touch the sky where nobody can stop us,
shall we go inside,
date has just started.
We shouldn't take any wrong step before marriage.
Sit back over there.
I know you from 3 years.
My performance was so bad,
because i am not experienced like you.
Can i help you?
Only i call her rads...
want some beer?
Then i will get you omlet. No! My bike is there...
scooter won't work radhika is so high maintenance,
you took me salsa club after the mid terms,
take me disney world after the finals.
I have a fool proof way of studies.
If you will try you won't even forget.
On your every right answer i'll remove one thing amongst my clothes.
You will give as much right answers,
my clothes... will you stop?
I won't fail but destroyed. Relax!
I am gonna ask you hard questions,
i am studying from 4 months,
3-4 items will must remove,
and we can't play this game after the graduation.
Tell me the history of income tax. I don't know...
you must have wear many layers...
so listen to me carefully.
I am playing this game with you
because i am feeling warm,
it's the best way of revision.
You didn't kiss your girlfriend yet.
Ac is on so she can't feel warm,
you are not my girlfriend.
Option b.
I didn't wore anything under this,
now you will go forjob in suit everyday.
You will pay the rent,
and i will sit back home and play playstation with veer,
but veer didn't come home yet,
you've got degree, job and an economics professor dies on you.
You will give complex the judge in court.
You are still staring the girls.
Look! She's your type of girl.
What did she wants to say after 4 months.
So! Shall i tell her that you are not interested.
I am not even interested what you want to tell her,
you told me 7 o' clock.
Stop your drama he is dying to meet you.
Really! I have sort out everything,
you just show your dimples and he will be melt down,
and by the way he is not interested in girls.
But girls could be interested on him,
if you are not gonna marry her so shall we go for dinner tomorrow.
I am 5.7 inches and you looks 6 feet.
I will slap on your face
and your plastic surgeon will need surgery.
Please marry me,
i don't have money, norjob nor house.
I can't give you that life what you want,
i can spend my entire life with chicken role.
But i don't like to eat alone.
Firstjob then marriage.
Till i don't find a house we will live in our driller.
I don't have money.
What i should feed you daily. Come if you want.
Don't take so footage. No job, no house, no money.
But you have item,
she don't need anything say yes, you are saying that.
You always keep it along,
today i took it for sale,
but you met me,
real exams has gonna be start now,
who you have got? Only he was free.
But who are you? I am london's highest paid lover,
who shares happiness with any kind of woman,
without clothes. It's the reality of jerry.
He used to fail in all the jobs.
Because he is good to removes his clothes.
Anyone could become a laywer after passing the exams,
but no book can teach you to charm a woman,
you don't need degree for that,
but you need pedigree...
and a woman can understand this thing,
a mother feels happy...
when his kid takes first position in exams,
a sister feels happy when his brother got promotion in office.
A wife feels happy when her husband brings money in home,
but a woman feels happy...
when desi boys honour gave her his card.
These two has bring smile on women's faces.
Many people can kill others for their kids.
Now you tell me the meaning of bringing smile on women's face.
Did you ever think...
why your seven sister smiles alot.
You just heard my past witnesses.
But my present...
nobody said anything about my present.
Take your decision on my present not on my past.
People become a father after having a kid,
but that young veer...
turned jerry into man.
Nice people can make mistakes...
but not give a single chance to reform his mistakes...
is bigger sin than that.
I don't want to become robin,
you will look batman's father in robin's outlet.
I don't want to become robin, are you mad? Why are you crying?
Don't cry. Be a superman.